Ahh ... I feel great today.
It's funny how lately I've had so much on my mind yet so little at the same time. I've been so out of it, even though I've been so clearly seeing everything that's wrong.
Today I finally got what I was missing--being relaxed. You know that weekend feeling you get where it's like a dream, but maybe a little clearer? It's that one feeling of home where you can flop around like a fish all day yet still feel like you maybe accomplished something. It's like half-living. But it's living all the same, especially after all the dying I did for the past month.
I did math today, and I saw Fortune there, and he took me by surprise and said hi. Then I came home and did some homework, checking off things from my list of weekend stuff to do, and then I ate lunch, which was deliciously warm. I struggled through the first chapter of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and called people to interview them for a project I'm doing. Then I procrastinated my list of stuff to do.
I practiced my flute, blah blah blah, read the book some more, worked on my scrapbook with one of my college-grad friends, and then--and then--
I ran. I ran a mile, like really RAN the whole thing, for the first time in probably two years. I was kind of dying of boredom starting from the third lap, but I made it and I felt like running more and I'm still shaking slightly but I feel so good. 'Cause it's cold outside and mhmm, I've been trapped in smoke for so long but finally I can breathe again.
It's funny how lately I've had so much on my mind yet so little at the same time. I've been so out of it, even though I've been so clearly seeing everything that's wrong.
Today I finally got what I was missing--being relaxed. You know that weekend feeling you get where it's like a dream, but maybe a little clearer? It's that one feeling of home where you can flop around like a fish all day yet still feel like you maybe accomplished something. It's like half-living. But it's living all the same, especially after all the dying I did for the past month.
I did math today, and I saw Fortune there, and he took me by surprise and said hi. Then I came home and did some homework, checking off things from my list of weekend stuff to do, and then I ate lunch, which was deliciously warm. I struggled through the first chapter of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and called people to interview them for a project I'm doing. Then I procrastinated my list of stuff to do.
I practiced my flute, blah blah blah, read the book some more, worked on my scrapbook with one of my college-grad friends, and then--and then--
I ran. I ran a mile, like really RAN the whole thing, for the first time in probably two years. I was kind of dying of boredom starting from the third lap, but I made it and I felt like running more and I'm still shaking slightly but I feel so good. 'Cause it's cold outside and mhmm, I've been trapped in smoke for so long but finally I can breathe again.
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