"They Don't Know About Us"

My mom laughed at me because of what my friends said about missing me during the summer and how they wouldn't survive without talking and seeing me every day. But that's like how I looked up quotes for the words "end" and "ending" and all I found were these happy lift-me-up quotes like "every ending is the beginning of something else." When I don't feel like that now. How come when you look up "You loved me," you get all these depressing things {I don't know actually, but I'm assuming you do. I've never looked it up} when you look up "ending," all there is is happiness?

Just to let you know ... ending is NOT happiness. Ending. Ending is one of the saddest things you can ever do. It's like giving up, but giving up is where you leave. Ending is where everybody leaves. Everything leaves, and then you're left standing there with no feeling before you realize It's gone. It's over. It's done.

It's ended.

I've been slamming my head against the laptop and trying not to cry because I don't want to let myself realize that this magic time is over and I'm one of the only people who's ever going to be able to appreciate how really really really miraculous it all was. How can two years go so fast?

How can two years end so fast?