So last night was Greni's birthday party, which was something I looked forward to, not out of needing something to make me happy, but out of knowing it would.
And it was true.
I find that there are many types of people in the world, and one of them is Greni's type--the people who aren't as conscious as I am in the way of spazzing out and being all self-conscious and paranoid and deep. Not that Greni's shallow, but that she's smart enough to know that there are better things to do than worry.
So last night I let go of my worry for a little bit. I learned everybody's name. I played games and was a loud rambunctious self. I ate chicken alfredo with tongs. {Which was actually pretty easy. I'm a chopstick person.}
But at 9, we went into the jacuzzi, which was the coolest thing ever. I was expecting sort of an indoor pool, but it was outside. There was this little deck lit up with lights and it was cool outside, not cool like everybody said it was. The water was warm and we played games or just sat there, in and out of the water. I didn't know half the girls there and I'm not way good friends with the ones I did know, but I felt friendly with them all, especially sitting and talking together on the deck in the warm light, freaking out at spiders.
The best thing was that when you looked past the light, there was the night and the trees, and it might've been creepy had I been alone in the dark, but last night it was just beautiful and it didn't really seem real. I was sitting there staring at the beautiful shapes of the trees instead of freaking out at them like I do on car rides. I was warm and content.
And that was just something amazing in my day/night, because on the car ride back my skin was soft and warm like after a shower, and I was kind of floating. I was listening to music and thinking that the night doesn't scare me as much as it used to. It's a whole nother world, and it makes me realize that a lot of people live in their separate worlds, and mine is usually dark and scary because I make it that way. But learning from people who are lights ... it makes you light up too. And I want to stay that way, and life not in cold but warmth.
And it was true.
I find that there are many types of people in the world, and one of them is Greni's type--the people who aren't as conscious as I am in the way of spazzing out and being all self-conscious and paranoid and deep. Not that Greni's shallow, but that she's smart enough to know that there are better things to do than worry.
So last night I let go of my worry for a little bit. I learned everybody's name. I played games and was a loud rambunctious self. I ate chicken alfredo with tongs. {Which was actually pretty easy. I'm a chopstick person.}
But at 9, we went into the jacuzzi, which was the coolest thing ever. I was expecting sort of an indoor pool, but it was outside. There was this little deck lit up with lights and it was cool outside, not cool like everybody said it was. The water was warm and we played games or just sat there, in and out of the water. I didn't know half the girls there and I'm not way good friends with the ones I did know, but I felt friendly with them all, especially sitting and talking together on the deck in the warm light, freaking out at spiders.
And that was just something amazing in my day/night, because on the car ride back my skin was soft and warm like after a shower, and I was kind of floating. I was listening to music and thinking that the night doesn't scare me as much as it used to. It's a whole nother world, and it makes me realize that a lot of people live in their separate worlds, and mine is usually dark and scary because I make it that way. But learning from people who are lights ... it makes you light up too. And I want to stay that way, and life not in cold but warmth.
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