It's Complicated

Some days are happy days. Some days are not. 

But some days are completely in between. They're not blah days, because they're happy ad sad but I'm not sure which is more ...

Like today. It started off fine--we got free music time in Band, essentially, and I got to practice with Greni. But then, I found out that the people from the middle school came, and I missed them. People I know were in there and I had no chance at all to see them or talk to them, but whenever they're around it makes me feel all fluttery like every choice is wrong because I know I'll regret no matter what.

So when I got to Fat Cats for bowling in PE, I was all hot and cold at the same time {do not take the hot part like that please}. Then they turned off the lights for Thunder Alley and we requested music and the little neon bits in the fuzzy black walls started to glow.

I got my best bowling score for this whole unit today ... twice. But the whole time I was nostalgic and pretty much just sick, because I hate black lights and the neon wall bits and requesting songs but although I wanted to get out of there, I wanted to stay too.

So it was relief when Georgie and I left for lunch, where we had an actual conversation with our lunch group {usually now we don't have group discussions} and headed out to the soccer field.

That was where things went a little wrong, again. Of course, I ended up on the opposite team as Fortune, Vanessa, Kahler, and more--it seemed that their team overwhelmed mine and had all the really good ball hogs {and generally good soccer players}. But I ran with my bare feet and screamed at my teammates and kicked whenever I could and I was in the perfect place, far enough into the game to play it, but far enough out not to care when the other team scored goals.

So I was sweaty and happy again, and then Math passed quickly, actually, because somehow it was the day when everybody was talking to me, even though I hardly know anybody in my math class except two boys in my grade. I lent a pencil and made remarks and said yes, I do not like cheese.

I'm a little weird.

And then on the bus ride home I sat across from Seattle and we talked about books and movies and how Secondhand Lions is both our favorites, and Kyle and Souri were there too, which makes for all around niceness.

So this sunshiny day started out cold, and life is a roller coaster, but the hills make it fun.