Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Things I Can't Change

And he said look at you worryin' so much about things you can't change ... you'll spend your whole life singin' the blues if you keep thinkin' that way...

Those are the lyrics that have been running through my head all week, from Taylor Swift's Starlight. I love that song now, because I've listened to the lyrics. I used to think it didn't deserve its title {I care a lot about stars} but ... actually, I like it now. Because these lyrics have come to define me, in the way I sing them to myself over and over in the mornings and realize what they mean.

I've been so caught up in problems and worries lately they consume me: 

  1. How everybody doesn't like everybody and probably doesn't like me
  2. The ugliness of me compared to the prettiness of everybody else
  3. My hair, which is slowly turning blond at the ends {AAAAHHHHH!!!!!! I HAVE BLACK HAIR!!!!!!!}
  4. Who do I like? 
  5. Does above person like me?
  6. Do I have any friends?
  7. Where do I go at lunch if I don't wanna sit with my friends?!
  8. How am I going to survive next year without them?!!!!
It's all in questions and these things are the things I can't answer because I have no control over. Unlike grades. Because
  1. You can't make someone like you
  2. You can't make yourself pretty
  3. You can't unblondify your hair especially if you're strictly against the kind of freakishly wrong dying-of-the-hair that Di practices
  4. You can't choose who you like, especially between three guys
  5. See 1
  6. You can't make someone be your friend no matter how much you're theirs
  7. You can't be too alone or you'll be so alone you'll end up killing yourself
But ... I sang that to myself and stopped for a minute because I've been sharing these lyrics to everyone all week but I didn't take my own advice.

...He was tryin' to skip rocks on the ocean sayin' to me don't you see the starlight starlight don't you dream impossible things? ...

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