Saturday, January 19, 2013

A Touch of Innocence

Something I've always hated is that when you grow up, you grow out too. And I'm not necessarily talking about getting fatter, even though sometimes that happens to. I'm talking about growing out of precious things like playing with Barbies {as opposed to beheading them like some of my violent friends do} and ... just toys in general, I guess. Baby blankets and all that. 

Lately, I've been feeling older than ever. Experiences and stuff that just piles into one giant heap of problematic thoughts that ruin anything that should've been sweet. I love that lovely happiness you get from something like laughing. Somehow it's been eluding me lately, like it takes more effort to smile. 

'Cause I've been thinking back to things like that. Last night I watched Forrest Gump for the first time. That was a really good movie. It's not often you come across a good movie like that. I don't know how many I've actually seen, because movies are something that's basically been ruined by society already. Anyway, it was a nice movie. It was one of those ones that was funny and sweet and stupid and scary at the same time. Just because. I think it's also one of those movies that is way better than the book, even though I've never even read the book. 

Well, that movie has quite a lot of innocence in it. Nostalgia is so beautiful and yet so painful at the same time, but it was nice to think about things today and just wonder what would've happened had I stayed that way my whole life, the little girl whose only concern was whether or not it was going to rain. Not that I mind that now, loving both rain and sunshine. But there are so many more problems of the more conscious ages that sometimes you wish you were back in little-grade school sitting in the sunshine and picking grass and saying:

"When we grow up we're all going to live close to each other and be best friends forever."

And then you lose a piece of something and the sky clouds over and you're wondering how you ever thought that could happen.

No comments: