Saturday, January 26, 2013

Something Happy

Since I've made a point of being as depressed as possible lately, I've decided to try and pull you and me back up. I've been sitting here for about twenty minutes already with the thought to write a song {my last one was a couple weeks ago, even though I usually come up with them like snap} but the only subjects that came up were
  • missing people
  • missing Pen
  • missing the happy version of me
  • missing
  • missing
  • missing
  • still missing
So, in an attempt to be smart, I've realized that if I tried to write a happy song right now it'd end up being very fake, and I'd never be able to sing it.

'Cause how do I put this? I love making people happy, making them laugh, making a fool of myself just so someone else can smile, because you can feel others' more than your own. But looking in the mirror and seeing someone who plays Silhouette on the piano {by Owl City, I love that song} and can't even sing along ... well, it's not exactly what I need to keep people happy. 

It's weekends like these where I don't feel so good--'cause Literally's birthday is soon and even though I have a present for him, somehow I don't feel like we're connected anymore. It's also Liberty's birthday soon. I jokingly promised him a while back that I'd get him a satchel of liberty. Georgie and I were making it, but somehow it stopped and she's not taking sewing anymore, but that's the only place I can make it happen. I feel like I'm letting down Liberty, and it was one of the things I was really looking forward to. But now it's not going to happen and I just feel horrible. 

I hate how lately, it seems all of my projects don't work and I have to give up because it's not in my control whether or not it would happen. 'Cause if I chose my world, I'd have a satchel of liberty in no time. I'd have a better gift for Literally too, and I'd be flying because I wouldn't get those looks. I hate when people stare at me like I've done something wrong, because I try so hard to do good.

All right, somehow this turned into a sad post too. Seriously! 

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