Monday, April 22, 2013

Talking to the Moon

My sister and I got into a fight. We were at a park, and I grabbed the keys and headed home ahead of my family, and ended up talking to myself/this one guy that I always end up talking to when I'm alone. Only I haven't done it for more than a year, I'm pretty sure.

"Dear You," I'll start, only I won't say you. And I was walking fast up the hill but my words came out clear. "I haven't talked to you like this in forever. Can you blame me? It's a little crazy ... I know you'll never hear me, but sometimes you're the only one I can talk to."
'Cause of course he's the one whose house I try and fly to everytime I get the chance in a dream. And you can't blame me, because these aren't the times I'm really conscious. And I suddenly start talking about home, and how his is probably the one he comes to every night and comes from every morning, but mine moves around with people and one of them is him. 

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back, I want you back

I was still kind of talking to him by the time I got to the stop sign. After the stop sign comes the church, by which is flat sidewalk ... but then it gets crazy uphill before turning to my house. I started running at the stop sign. I'm not sure why. Maybe I was running away from something, maybe I was running towards something, maybe it was home.

I passed a group of people in the grass and since I was wearing flip-flops I sounded all loud so I moved onto the grass but they still sort of stared at me but I just kept running. 

My neighbors think I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I had, you're all I had

"I used to cry myself to sleep every night thinking about you."

But then Georgie called me and we talked about the meteor shower, and it's funny because today is her birthday so it's just super special that the shower peaks then. So we planned to get up early and call each other and just talk and look at the stars.

At night when the stars light up my room
I sit by myself talking to the moon
Trying to get to you

I started thinking about the Bruno Mars song Talking to the Moon when I woke up early and stared out my window. I've never done that, you know, stare at the moon and wonder who else is sharing the moment. But sometimes I wonder how it is that I can live in the same city as somebody yet miss them so much.

In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too
Or am I a fool who sits alone
Talking to the moon?

But you know, sometimes there are people you need more. People you don't need to miss because they're gonna be right there next to you and make everything all right, spiritually if not physically. And when we're talking on the phone it feels so easy and it's great not to pretend. 
So I stop all my melancholy thoughts and I call Georgie, thinking that even if there aren't stars we'll be okay just talking together.

I'm feeling like I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say I've gone mad, yeah
But they don't know what I know
'Cause when the sun goes down
Someone's talking back
Yeah, they're talking back

She picks up before the first ring finishes, and everything is much better than okay, and the moon is beautiful.

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