Wednesday, May 8, 2013

A Little Less Blah

Something strange that happens to me a lot is that I'll wake up and spontaneously have this song stuck in my head for no reason. The song changes, and sometimes I can connect it with my day.

Today it was Crush by David Archuleta:

I hung up the phone tonight, something happened for the first time
Deep inside, what a rush, what a rush
There's a possibility, that you could ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, it's just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth? All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized so mesmerized and I just got to know ...

I'm not going to put in the rest here because this isn't a lyric site {haha, you'd be mislead} but I was thinking about how sometimes I feel that way and right now the feeling is coming back.

Anyway, today was a blah day. Meaning that nothing important happened. In fact, it probably sucked if you hold it against all my other days {huh, weird}.

Maybe that's because I was a little stuck in the past. I went back through my old journal yesterday and found out that last year on this day a lot of happy things happened {as well as one unhappy thing: my science class dissected frogs. Yuck}. And I was trying to bring them into my life right now. At lunch I had strawberries like I did this day last year, and I was going to go up to an old friend and make a reference to it, but then I didn't because I realized he probably wouldn't remember.

So I didn't play soccer and sat on the grass in the little rain eating oranges with Georgie and Tangorine and Nash. Danica lay her head on my lap and we talked and wrote on each other's hands and had a blah day.

But I like it that way. Because I realize that right now I might not be feeling a lot of things I used to feel, but at least I'm feeling something, and that's a passion for the future. I may have failed my shuttle run but I'll do better next time. My umbrella may have broken but I'll find a new one for tomorrow. And Danica was asking me where we should go at the end of the year and I told her somewhere fun and she said "but you don't like that place" {or wrote it on my hand anyway} and it's true that I don't. Or didn't. But some things kind of grow on you.

And I realize that with the bad memories in places and people it's okay because you can make new ones. Those were the words I was looking for with Danica at lunch today.

So it rained on the bus ride home and I didn't talk to Seattle. Instead I talked to Kahler and we made plans for the future. And I'm ... excited. Because today might be a blah day, but there's always tomorrow.

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