Friday, May 10, 2013

Nowhere to Run To

I was just going to start this post with "It's funny how ..." but that seems to be the way I always start posts, which a. is annoying and b. should be changed because it's too repetitive and I'm not THAT boring. *ahem* I hope.

Today's been a good day. Which is another phrase I'm using commonly now, but who am I to complain when I have a smile on my face when I say it? And I promise it's not that much of a fake one anymore, because I'm actually okay for once. Sometimes when I'm sitting by myself this screen flashes in my head that says I'm OK. And sometimes I almost start crying because it's such a lie but today I smile because it's actually true.

I like smiling.

So one of the things I'm going to write about here is how freaking tired I am. During PE today we did our 12-minute timed run, which I ran, sprinted the last thirty seconds, and apparently still felt nice enough to run the last 3 minutes of the next session of runners. Which was fun, but I was all floppy afterwards. And then at lunch I played soccer, which I shouldn't've done, because my sprinting abilities have decided to go die in a hole.

{Not that I had many sprinting abilities in the first place. But at least SOME.}

I also had my last dance class of the year, which included plenty of running around and it was just ... yuck. And sweaty. But it was fun, I guess, but that's not necessarily the kind of tired I'm trying to get to here.

{You see, I took my English CRT today. Which means that I'm gonna be using all these smart metaphors and similes and proper grammaticalness and yeah! It'll be exciting. 'Cause I have to use my learning for something, right?}

You see, there are plenty of ways to become tired. By which I mean, two = physically and mentally. I already talked about the physically part, but the mental part is having issues right now

Hey, don't write yourself off yet ... 

and sorry, The Middle just came on Pandora and it is fitting with what I'm trying to get through right now, so ... go listen! It'll be great background music and make you feel like I feel when I'm writing this. Not that you need more connection to me. ANYHOO

I am mentally tired as well as physically tired. I spent much of English reading {after I speedily finished my test, but don't worry, I double-checked it}. Then in Math all we did was math review problems the whole time and I almost fell asleep. I mean, of course I didn't fall asleep {I'm a good student! I promise!}, but I felt SUPER tired after the bell rang and I tried to walk fast to the bus.

And then there was the matter of PE. After we were finished we did this thing where we lay down on the floor and Boomer did this calming thing where we had to tense and relax, but the bad part was that I couldn't concentrate because Boomer told us to imagine that we were in the calming place and somewhere like home that was relaxing but my mind took me to the one place that wasn't relaxing at all, only I guess I have been thinking about it all lately. And so I went back to my old school by force of mind, but that wasn't fun either and there were tears in my eyes by the end of the relaxation thing and all I got from it was another layer of tiredness.

Not to mention that it's just kind of hard keeping up with everything. Sure I can run faster and farther than ever before, but I'm so behind on everything. I'm still going too fast or too slow or just stuck, I guess. And I have to juggle friendships and conflicts and homework and it's that time when I guess I just need some sleep.

Only sleep likes to give me troubling dreams. So I guess this is the one time I can relax and think about good things. 

{Like Pandora's magic playlist it gave me before and during writing this:
  1. WHEN I LOOK TO THE SKY by Train
  2. I'M YOURS by Jason Mraz
  3. HELLO SEATTLE {haha, hehe} by Owl City
  4. WORLD'S GUNNA END by Megan & Liz
  6. THE MIDDLE by Jimmy Eat World
  7. STAY STAY STAY by Taylor Swift
  8. ALL ALRIGHT by Fun. {The perfect ending, I guess}

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