Saturday, March 2, 2013


Today Vanessa came over to my house, and we played soccer with my little sister. "What country are you gonna be?" asked Vanessa when we decided to play World Tour {she was goalie}. 

"Wyoming," said my smart 5-year-old sister.

"Okay, we'll do states," said Vanessa. She asked me which one I wanted to be. I said Rhode Island at first, but something didn't feel right.

"Umm ... Tennessee? No," I said, finally choosing. "Georgia!"

Have I ever told you that's Georgie's full name? She called me today, and since Vanessa was still at my house I said I'd call her back. Her voice was a little soft and sad and I wondered what it was. I was itching to call her back {eew gross} and when I did she sounded a lot more cheerful. 

I asked her the reason she called me like I always did, but it was nothing. "I just thought I might as well memorize your number 'cause I'm gonna call you like every day!" 

I wanted her to. We started talking, about many things. Friends, and how some people are often neglected for their faults, and how it hurts at first but you get over it {hmhmm, should I do that?}. Then she started talking about how Fortune did say I was good at soccer {he can be a liar} and I was happy for a minute when I realized what I do by playing soccer: not hang out with Georgie. I promised out loud to spend more time with her. I know she needs to spend time with other people too, but I love hogging my best friend, because all the time I spend with her, whether it's wandering or stalking or laughing or just reading ... it's great. No kidding, sometimes we're the only ones left at the lunch place and we just sit and read, and knowing she's there does wonders for me.

Not for my reading, though. It's funny how I can't draw myself away from the world when there's a reason to be there. (:

Then we started talking about Kyle and how Orqua said he and Georgie were similar because they were both nice, held doors open for people {psh, there's SO much more she holds from me, like my backpack when she insists it's too heavy}, how they both compliment people, and have the most amazing smiles.

I told Georgie how amazing her smile actually is. It's like a bright light wherever. Outshines the sun and all that great stuff, but seriously, the fact that it's always there is enough for me. 

Then we started reading our journals to each other, and she and I started with some random pages, and then she did February 25th ... AKA this past Monday. It talked at first about some wonders of the day, and then how she's falling back in love with somebody {I forgot to tell her that we're twinners because I am too}. Then she told me not to make a sound as she read the last part. It must've been at least two pages long. 

It was about me.

It was about how I'm ... me. And how when I was going through depression, she couldn't do anything for me. It talked about how she knows I have more friends than just her ... how she doesn't deserve me ... how she's just her while I am me. 

"That's it," she said after saying how she cried.

It was silent for a couple of seconds on the phone and one of the things I thought of saying was Amen, because I guess I should pray for somebody to stop being blind.

Then I started talking, and after I read a paragraph off of my journal, I made a speech. I don't know if I've ever made one like that before. It was completely off of the top of my head. I wasn't telling a story or arguing. I was simply stating what was true, but it was hard because of the silence on the end of the line and the fact that there was SO MUCH TRUE.

I paused in between things because I had to gather my thoughts and make sure it hit her in the places that would make her know

Dear Georgie, you're my best friend. I can't tell you how much you mean to me, because there's not a word for it yet. I can't tell you the feeling I get knowing you're here for me, because it's like putting your eyes to the sun. I love the way you are who you are. I love the way you don't complain about my ideas. I love the way you'd be my shoulder to cry on as well as my hand to hold. I love the way you don't complain and you always have something true and amazing to say about everyone. I love the way you make me me. I hope you understand that no matter how much I try to say this it doesn't work. I've got friends other than you. They may be good friends, but there's a reason you're the best. I really love your smile and your laugh and your letters. I love you, and I can't wait to call you before you get me ...

So just saying, I've never been to Georgia. But like Seattle, I have a feeling that if I ever do it'll feel like home. 

Guess what my current favorite font is?

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